Looking Backwards: 2015-2011
Spring 2015 has been a time of reflection, and lots of it! As I conclude my undergraduate time at Messiah and prepare for life beyond, I have spent many hours pondering the last four years of my life. I can’t say that I imagined myself being in my present position. In high school, I waited until the last minute to even select a school from my seven acceptances. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. Maybe I wanted to go into genetics. Maybe.
And then college happened.
Let’s take a look:
Freshman year I was very intimidated. Roommates were rough. Science was not my strength, yet somehow I was doing remarkably well in my English class. Hmm. Complete reversal from high school; I even had an essay published! I knew only one thing for sure: my major (molecular biology) was not going to last!
Sophomore year I switched my major to biopsychology. Best decision. I loved my major! In the spring, I found myself really drawn to a new professor. She had my vision of an ideal job, plus she was really cool! I also began a mentorship of sorts with a pastor from my church. I became a leader in my dance ministry too, which really helped me to feel more at home at Messiah.
Junior year brought much growth. I grew deeper and closer with my mentor. I allowed her to see into my heart. My passion for neuroscience was affirmed. I began to put myself out there and grow closer with professors. I secured a spot doing research in the new professor’s lab. And then I studied abroad. I learned to loosen up and be lighter on myself. I learned to strive less. I learned to let God’s grace fill my life because I am weak on my own.
And then came senior year. This has been a wonderful year. Of course I’ve had my fair share of challenges, but I’ve seen God work to revolutionize my thinking. I’ve worked hard to invest in the young adult ministry at my church, which has been super rewarding. I’ve experienced multiple broken relationships, but I’ve also learned to allow God into my heart which then allows me to forgive and the relationship to heal. I now have two wonderful mentors and am close with two incredible professors who are there for me through anything. I’ve learned to be vulnerable, open, trusting, and dependent. I’ve learned to be assertive in pursuing these relationships. I pushed for enriching opportunities outside the classroom. I’ve had a few leadership roles in the lab. By the time this semester is over, I will have presented my work five times–three times on campus (talks & posters) and twice off campus (posters). Talk about opportunities! Additionally, I was privileged to be selected to participate in a pilot experiential learning program. That has helped me take my research experience even further! I even have an independent study lined up for this summer with one of the founders of the field of neurotheology. When did I become that bold?
And then we have the bucket list items I’ve been crossing off this year:
Jumping in the Breeches (in February, in the snow)
Walking through the science building, laughing maniacally while wearing a lab coat
Having my artwork on display
Relay For Life
Special Olympics
Winning a gift card from a random drawing
Dancing in chapel
I nearly graduated a year early because I was that discontent with my first two years. I am incredibly thankful that my dad compelled me to use the full four years. Just look at what I would have missed out on this year!
I look back at my expectations upon entering college and compare to where I am now, and I stand amazed! I was not prepared for the amount of growth God would work in an open and willing heart. I thought that maybe, if I was lucky, I could do research, but I certainly didn’t think I would be eager to present it. I anticipated caring professors, but I did not expect lifelong friends and mentors. I was excited to resume dancing, but I was not prepared for leadership roles, chapel performances, or teaching. Studying abroad was something my dad always pushed, but never did I ever expect to spend four months living in Lithuania, when most people have no idea where the country is; in fact, that was one of the first locations I rejected. I thought it was nice that Messiah offered service trips, but I did not consider myself a qualified leader of my peers…and now I have led THREE trips! I did not expect to become a writer and hear affirmation of being a gifted communicator and be asked to share my testimony with my church.
The list goes on.
So here’s what I’ll do. For the next few weeks, I am going to publish a series of posts about my life in college–lessons, challenges, and growth. It’ll help me as I prepare to leave my home of the last four years, and it’ll provide you with some insight into my journey towards adulthood.
I hope you’ll embark with me!
