“fake it ‘til you become it”: BRAVE

What do you think of when someone mentions brave people?

Firefighters?

A knight in shining armor?

Yourself??

Lately I’ve been realizing that we don’t have to wear a uniform to be brave. There are plenty of daily tasks that we each face that require bravery. Recently, I have begun to see just how much fear is in my life. 

I’ll admit it: I am scared of everything.

I was scared to graduate. I was scared to invest in relationships at home. I was scared when asked to interview for jobs. I was scared to accept my job offer. I was scared to move. I’m still scared to deepen relationships, meet new people, socialize, make phone calls, and be alone in the dark.

But then I was pointed toward this wonderful TED talk. (Don’t feel obligated to watch it, but it’s one of my favorites)

Amy Cuddy’s talk completely revolutionized how I approached situations from that point on. It takes effort to pretend to be something you think you aren’t. But as I reflect, I realize that I made it through the last few months for a few reasons. First, I had to; there really was no other option. Second, I chose to focus on the results of my pretend bravery over the last nine months and recognize God’s faithfulness through it all. I might not have felt brave then, and I may not always feel brave now, but when I look at where my life was a year ago, I would not have been able to face the things I am facing now.

As I write this, I am facing pain in many areas of my life: family, friends, and the struggle to forgive and move on. It’s so easy to listen to the world and just give up on things that don’t work out for us. But I’m not built that way, and neither are you. Relationships matter. Plus, as Christians, we are compelled to work at these things.

It takes bravery to have that difficult conversation.

It takes bravery to admit your shortcomings.

It takes bravery to find humility and seek forgiveness.

It takes bravery to live graciously.

It takes bravery to offer vulnerability–trusting God and others with your heart: the most treasured, intimate piece of your being.

And you know what? It’s not easy. The Christian life is a hard one, wrought with challenges and trials of all sorts. You might not think you can have that conversation or ever move on from the pain of that broken relationship.

But you can.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline” (2 Tim. 1:7). He makes us brave. Eventually everything will work out by God’s standards. He has a divine plan that is infinitely better than anything we can ask for or imagine. Jesus said to Peter, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand” (John 13:7). What a powerful thought to meditate on!

Or in the words of Mandisa, “He’s not gonna let it get the best of you.”

It takes baby steps. You won’t become brave overnight. Chances are, you’ll be more like me: pretending to be brave in the littlest of situations–reaching out to a long lost friend, saying “I’m sorry” to a sibling…. And then one day you’ll take a step back and realize just how far you’ve come. You gotta fake it ’til you become it! Trust me, your brain will catch on.

Until then, let us take comfort in this truth:

The reward of saying yes is greater than the fear of saying no.

May we live daily as forgiven beings who bravely face the challenges of life, blanketed in the grace of God.

P.S. Amanda Cook’s song “You Make Me Brave” has been the anthem of my heart for months now. Check it out!