Fear No More
I have spent much of my life living in fear.
fear of what happens if I break the rules
fear of the judgments of others
fear of the unknown
fear of deviating from a preconceived plan
fear of losing friends
fear of disappointing those in authority or my parents
God has been calling me to a deeper level of intimacy and bolder expression of my trust in Him. I recently heard this quote: “Instead of waiting for fear to subside I have made it my friend.” WOW. The imposter syndrome is roaring inside me, so I turn daily to God, asking for His empowerment and provision. He constantly reminds me that I am exactly where I’m meant to be, doing what I’m meant to do. So…I did a thing.
I pierced my nose.
Why is this a big deal? Because it hits every single one of those fears above. I’m afraid that people—strangers—will judge me at first sight, without getting to know my heart. I’m afraid of how (un)professional I’ll appear. I’m afraid of disappointing my parents (don’t worry, they’ve seen ).
In my spiritual formation class yesterday, our instructor mentioned that having fun can also be a spiritual discipline for those of us who are Type A control freaks ( like me!). While I won’t say getting a piercing is a spiritual discipline, I did take a step of faith in trusting God with a vulnerable part of my soul in my spontaneity.
God has been showering me in His love. In the same way that my parents love and support me in everything because they know who I am at the core, God loves me simply for being His daughter. He is ENTHRALLED by my beauty. I’m learning to love myself as I am, and now I can do things I’ve only dreamt of without fear or shame. I’m tackling that Imposter in confidence!
It’s a journey for sure, but the joy I feel inside can’t be contained!
