#iamarisktaker
This is the go-to phrase for Study Abroad Lithuania. Here's an excerpt from the program description: “Small country, big world... Take a risk and explore the unfamiliar, immerse yourself in the unknown, transform how you see the world.” And thus the hashtag was born.
This phrase has become the "YOLO" of Lithuania. But unlike "YOLO," this phrase has not yet grown old. We were just discussing that tonight, actually. Yes, this phrase is way overused and is a study abroad stereotype, but I embrace it wholeheartedly. Whether J-walking, trying new foods, or stepping way out of my comfort zone, "Hashtag I am a risk taker!" is sure to be exclaimed! Funny thing: this phrase is also (successfully) used to guilt us into trying new things...
I bring this phrase up as a bit of a reflection for my semester abroad. At first I laughed at the phrase, but then I seriously thought about it. Coming to Lithuania in and of itself is a humungous risk! I was privileged with this experience and am making the most of it. I want to leave with no regrets. At this point, with a week left, I think I am well on my way to that goal! Here are some highlights of my risk taking:
Even as early as my first night in Vilnius, I began to try new foods. First, I was hungry. Second, I told myself that I didn't have to like it, as long as I tried. Most was good, but some was disgusting (*cough*cough*gira*cough*cough*). At that point I was much more hesitant about trying new things. Now I'll just do it, sometimes with a bit more prompting than others. I want no regrets, and that's enough to compel me. I mean just two weeks ago, I ate bear!
I got into a challenge with two other study abroads to visit the study abroad office every day. I'm winning by far. But that's not the point. About a week in, I came to the conclusion that I feel really dumb for going places without a purpose or invite. So why would I venture to the study abroad office to just sit and chat aimlessly? Then I realized that this was my form of taking risks. I was stepping way out of my comfort zone. But then it got easier. The office ladies are so sweet and caring and helpful and all around wonderful! And now I feel better about asking people for their time or presence, even if we multitask while in the same room.
Speaking of risk taking with the study abroad staff, midway through February I made an extremely odd decision to venture there when I got into a deep emotional state that had been coming and going all week. When it came on the night before, I realized that that was the state I least wanted people to see but most needed people to see. So I went and found people. Not only did I find people, but I found women who I had known for just over a month and who I wasn't sure I could fully trust. They allowed my to sit there and express myself in as few words as possible and as many tears as necessary. And I hate crying in front of people.
Relationships. It's so tempting to live with the mentality that I'll be here for 4 months and then never see these people again. In fact, many Europeans say that to us. I went through a phase in February when I was torn about building relationships. I felt this way about everyone, but it was most prominent for the study abroad staff. They're my professors, my tour guides, my advisers, my mothers, and my friends. I was already growing dangerously close to them, especially in light of the fact that in 2.5 months I would never see them again. But then I decided that I didn't care. I want to live in the moment and make the most of this experience. No regrets! I would deal with the emotions of separation when the time came. Unfortunately, that time is now :(
We have another phrase here in Lithuania: "choose people." That's more our theme for the semester. But again, I've learned to value friendships. I learned that papers and assignments will get done, whether I leave 12 hours or 3. But the opportunities to bond will not last forever. There is more to me than a number on a paper, and I will gladly accept a slightly lower grade for cherished memories. A 93 is just as much an "A" as a 99. Even "B's" will leave me content this semester!
This week I wrote a research paper for Theology about spiritual gifting in the modern church. I read an article that made me mad and confused and frustrated. The author presented good points but was way too ambitious about drawing lines in a very gray area. I went to find my professor to process my frustration, but he was not around. The professor next door was, and I accidentally exploded at him. His willingness to listen and help shocked me, but made me fall in love with LCC even more! I don't think I would have ever done something like that at Messiah, though I might be more open now after seeing how much professors care for their students.
Ummm...I choreographed a flash mob as a thank you to the wonderful study abroad staff and interns. And then we performed it in a restaurant last night. I was more than a little freaked out and actually needed someone else to start the song. Yes I'm a dancer but I still get stage fright. And this made sense because it would be an embarrassment if no one else joined in. Luckily there were about 10 people committed and everyone enjoyed it and smiled and applauded. And we gave a poster to the staff members to explain what just happened. This was probably the epitome of me stepping out of my comfort zone. But after, one of the interns said to me, "It's so cute to see how much you love dancing." Yep, just smiling and going with it!
And finally, we can't forget the adventures! Nothing has stopped me this semester. I have scars all over my body from the last 3.5 months, and I am proud of them! From Day 1 when I dropped my passport into a puddle after barely exiting the airport, I knew I was in over my head. Even last night I went on this giant swing thing, fell off, got scraped up, got kicked in the head, and moved on. I'm resilient and laugh things off. I'm "the one things happen to," whether I like it or not. Better just smile and embrace the lemons life throws at me, all in the name of being a risk taker. It's been a good ride, and I can't wait to see what the next week holds!
This semester I've learned to be spontaneous, flexible, easygoing, trusting, less uptight, patient, outgoing, adventurous, gracious, etc. Funny how a hashtag and a headache can change my life.
I guess I'll end with a quote that's been on my mind. "I did it all. I owned every second that this world could give. I saw so many places, the things that I did. With every broken bone, I swear I lived." (I Lived by OneRepublic, our flash mob number)
Oh wait, one more :)
“I will look back on this and smile, because it was life and I decided to live it!”
P.S. You should totally check out our final video project for our Cross-Cultural Seminar class! It captures some of the lessons I've learned this semester :)
